Going Below the Bottom of the Barrel

So there I was, in the middle of the 3rd of 4 laps of the Vance Creek Road Race in Elma, Wa today, riding way off the back of the Masters 30+ 4/5s all by my lonesome, battling a massive headwind on a narrow twisty road in what on any other day would be gorgeous scenery, thinking it was time for me to call it a day. I planned on finishing the lap and pulling off. I was not the only rider on the 13.25 mile course as there were actually 5 races in progess-Pro 1/2, then Men 3s, then Masters 50+, then us, and finally the women's Pro 1/2s. I was definitely not ready for this race, and did it because I had never done it as I had always been in Maupin, OR for the DRTT. The course was something as it started and finished and went by every lap a defunct nuclear power plant (with 2 BEHEMOTH cooling towers). It started with a long down hill on a rather rough road, then spent several miles on relatively flat narrow winding roads in open farmland (reminded me of a Classics race somewhat), and then finished with a 3 mile climb on an awesomely smooth road with a kicker at 200 to go. I road the first lap with the group, almost dropping off the back on the descent when a guy in front of me had a severe high speed wobble. There was another close call on the climb when a guy in front of me slipped his chain but I avoided him. I did not have enough to stay with the group on the descent of the 2nd lap, and ended up riding with 4 others in a good group. We separated on the climb but 4 of us temporarily regrouped. I lost them though on the decsent, leaving me alone.
So back to the beginning of my blog. I was scraping the bottom of the barrel. I could hear the whisperings of a pending bonk, and my quads had started to cramp some. I have had to go deep in marathons before, but never like this in a bike race.
I started thinking a lot of why I race. I race not to win but to ride with style and courage.
I learned yesterday that a friend's 4 month old daughter suddenly died a week ago. Fiona came to mind as well as what her parents were going through. My current discomfort was nothing. Marring a crash or mechanical or some debilitating medical condition, tight quads and bending bonk and a headwind were no excuse to quit and drop out. So I continued. I did get passed by breaks in the Womens, Mens 3 and Pro 1/2s but I finished. Feeling a bit raw and empty right now.
But I finished. And that is all that matters to me.
I have gone to the bottom of the barrel and beyond, and let me tell you, it's worth the trip.
Ty (aka Saddledancer)